THE JOYS OF DISCONNECTION
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I could make a prediction list of the people in my life who are secretly reading my posts without clicking “like”…
People who are voyeuristically spying, feeling uncomfortable feelings and judging those feelings…
Projecting ideas of who I am (and who I think I am)…
Sometimes this results in their simply deleting me or blocking me with no discussion.
More often though, they send me ambiguous aggressive/control messages out of the blue with no context and usually a refusal to answer any questions or to have a conversation about it.
This process hurts, as they are often people who at one point I considered my best friends. I can think of a handful of them teetering on this edge right now. Deeply disturbed by the changes I have made in my energy compared to who they once knew.
I could go on about why they might be doing this, but I have a more interesting perspective. Let’s look at why I attracted these conditional friendships, taking responsibility for my own part of this.
?When we connected from our unconscious wounding, at some level I allowed them to believe I was infallible, perfect, invincible. We had an unholy hierarchical connection.
?I was desiring their approval, and therefore unconsciously desiring their rejection (got it, finally!)
?I was looking for excuses to stay my small self…keeping people around who I innately knew would have a serious problem with my empowerment
?I needed them as examples of what I thought empowerment was, until I outgrew that model
?I needed material in order to type this post…and perhaps benefit someone else
?I needed proof that I can survive disconnection
?To see how far I’ve come in reclaiming my self-image, watching how my system responds
It can be so tempting to try and convince people “I am a good person!”, but if we are truly in touch with our own innocence…how is that relevant?
When we experience the gift of disconnection as making space for deeper alignment…the process (aka LIFE) is truly allowed to work it’s magic through us.
Thus, I am Life and so are You.
May we deepen our vision of the games we all play.
